Philodendron Choco Empress

Well now, the Philodendron ‘Choco Empress’ is the kind of Southern grandmother who keeps her parlor cool, her curtains drawn, and her silver polished. She don’t say much, but her presence fills the whole room with a velvet hush—rich, deep, and dignified. Her foliage is dark chocolate with a whisper of burgundy underneath, like the lining of a fine church hat. She’s not one for mess or fuss, but if you treat her right, she’ll grace your home with an elegance that hushes the whole room.

🪴 Care Tips for the Choco Empress (and don’t you dare neglect her):

🌤️ Light:
This gal likes her light like a good Southern sitting room—bright but filtered. Think lace curtains on a sunny afternoon. Avoid direct sun or she’ll scorch like a peach pie left out too long.

💧 Water:
She’s particular. Let the top couple inches of her soil dry out before you water her again. Not bone dry, just not soggy. Imagine keeping your biscuits moist, not wet.

🌡️ Temperature & Humidity:
She prefers warmth and humidity, the kind you’d find on a screened porch in July. Keep her above 65°F and mist her or run a humidifier if your air’s as dry as last year’s cornbread.

🌱 Soil:
Give her something rich, airy, and well-draining—a mix of bark, perlite, and peat will suit her just fine. Like a Sunday casserole: light, hearty, and not too greasy.

🧴 Fertilizer:
Feed her monthly during spring and summer with a balanced liquid fertilizer—half strength is best. Too much and she’ll act out like a child with too many sweets.

🌿 Growth Habit:
She’s a climber, but slow and steady, like a Southern lady strolling to church. Give her a moss pole or a stake if you want her to rise to her full glory.

🛑 Caution:
Like many of her cousins, she’s toxic if ingested, so keep her out of reach from curious pets and little ones. She may be graceful, but she don’t play.

The Choco Empress doesn’t need to shout to be admired. She sits pretty, quietly commanding respect—like any true Southern matriarch. Treat her with the care and reverence she deserves, and she’ll be your pride and joy for years to come.